Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Portugal Bound!

It has been a long time since I posted last. I am a freelance photographer (that does not mean I work for free, though many think and hope I will) and it is a busy time for me. :D And that is a "Good Thing!"

At church, I work with GA's. It is our younger girls mission program. Girls in Action. One day, during my blog surfing expeditions, I discovered Portugal Bound. It is about a family of Service Corp Missionaries who God lead to Portugal. The wife, Nina, misses Wal-Mart and Pam amongst other delicacies of the south. (Oh, I forgot to mention, she and her DH grew up in the Greater Birmingham Area, pronounced Bur-min-ham.) As a mission action project, we decided to collect a few things….

Nina, did you say you like Pam….

I sure hope! There are 10 or 11 cans there. Your story about the European equivalent costing $16 made an impact. It will take a while to get there. Because of the aerosol cans, they have to be shipped on a boat. It will take 3-4 months. I hope you have enough to last until then. Then you will have enough for the rest of your life!!!! Now to go see about getting some of this…

packaged up! I hope to get it shipped off to you in the next couple of days. :D

Friday, April 17, 2009

Birmingham, Alabama

First you must learn to pronounce the city's name. It's 'Bur-min-ham'.

Driving Information:

Burminham has its own version of traffic rules. The truck with the loudest
exhaust goes next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes
after that. Note: Blue-haired ladies driving anything have the right-of-way

To find anything in the city, it is required that you know where
Malfunction Junction is, which is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and
the end. It may be one of only two 'cloverleaf formation' interchanges in
the world. We invented it and only one other city was stupid enough to
implement it again, Atlanta -- making them only a wee bit dumber than we

The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from
3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. If the term
'merging delays' is ever used by the person reporting the traffic, even in
passing, call in to work and tell them that you will be at least 30 minutes
late regardless of where you are in your commute.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be (at the very least)
rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. This applies to male and female
drivers alike.

You must know that 'I-459,' 'I-59,' 'I-20,' and 'I-65' are the same road.
They just loop around, cutting in and out of each other's path. We think
this was a ploy utilized to confuse outsiders and discourage visitors after
the War of Northern Aggression.

Always, always, always, find out if it is a race or football weekend before
you get on any of these highways to travel somewhere. If it is a race or
football weekend, stay home. You won't be pleasantly going anywhere else.

Construction is a permanent fixture in Burminham. The barrels are moved
around in the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a little
more interesting.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them over to the
shoulder immediately to let them know -- you can be sure it was
'accidentally activated'.

The minimum acceptable speed on 'I-65' (see above) is 85 mph. Anything less
is considered downright sissy.

This is also Alabama 's state-highway-sponsored version of NASCAR --
especially during rush hour (see above) and everyone in the city is driving
at once, bumper-to-bumper. If you are in the left lane and only going 70 in
a 55-65 zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped a
bird' accordingly.

Do not gawk at the woman in the car beside you in traffic who is applying
make-up, drinking a Diet Coke, smoking a Marlboro and maintaining a steady
speed of 85 mph on I-65 in rush hour traffic. If she is coming from north
of Burminham, she might be packing. If she is coming from south of
Burminham, she IS packing and is not afraid to use it.

Weather Information:

If it's 110 degrees, Thanksgiving could be next weekend. If it's 10-20
degrees and sleeting or snowing, then watch out. Burminham residents
consider this 'demolition derby' day and will be all over the roads
(frontways, sideways, etc). Please proceed with caution, as you could be
the next target.

Seasonal Information:

If you stick to the seats in your vehicle, it is Spring.

If you need to let the car 'get some air' while standing next to it with
the doors open for a minute before you can stick your upper body inside to
crank it and get the air going, it is Summer.

If you are sweating even with the windows down, driving 55 mph, it is Fall.

If you finally turn the AC off and roll your windows up, it is Winter.

General Information:

Do not ever speak during the song ' Sweet Home Alabama ' unless it is to
sing along with the lyrics. This is a form of heresy and will erupt in a
brawl if everyone doesn't show 'proper respect' to the band who gave us
Free Bird. This is especially true if alcohol is present (notice I didn't
say 'sold at this event,' but 'present').

Yes, we know that Vulcan is mooning the entire city. It's not that funny to
us anymore and by now we're used to it.

If you ask someone for a 'coke,' they will often ask you, 'What kind?' This
is not a trick question. Tell them what you want: Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Root
Beer, etc., it is all 'coke'.

All tea is sweet. If it's not sweet, you are in a Chinese restaurant or
have crossed the Mason-Dixon Line .

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 of them live in Alabama

(an' this little feller's mama, daddy and bros and sisters live in my yard!)

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama, plus acouple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

People actually grow and eat okra.

'Fixinto' is one word.

There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you'retwo.We do like a little tea with our sugar!

Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.

DJeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

You measure distance in minutes.

You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,grain, insect or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.

There are only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, butrequire 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

The first day of deer season is a national holiday.

100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm'.

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time.Fried catfish is the other white meat..

We don't need no stinking driver's ed ... if our mama says we can drive, wecan drive.

If you understand these jokes, please forward them to your friends fromAlabama (and those who just wish they were).

EVERYONE can't be a Alabamian; it takes talent. You might say it's an artform or a gift from God.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


...Resurrection Sunday Everyone!

Sing Alleluia! Jennifer Knapp & Mac Powell w/3rd Day. To enjoy, please turn off the music on my playlist on the sidebar on the right.

Have a Blessed Easter!